Knowing Richard Rohr’s Work and Hearing of Others Attending the Rites

I had worked with Richard Rohr in the past including an internship at the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC), Richard’s center. All of my work with Richard Rohr had a profound effect on me spiritually. I was also aware that Richard was doing "men’s work" and because of my relationship with him and the CAC, I was naturally interested and intended to do it at some time. I didn't obviously know what to expect but had a real sense that something very valuable was available.

The idea of scheduling a significant amount of time away from work and family probably had me put it off going for a while. Then my wife and I attended a meeting for parents whose children are about to be confirmed. The meeting was led by John Grossman, an Elder of the Illinois M.A.L.E.s. During his presentation he shared something about doing a men’s program with a crazy Franciscan where he spent the day out in the desert and that it had a profound effect on him. My wife turned to me and said "I bet you want to do that" and of course I said yes.

After the presentation I went up to John and asked him if he was talking about Richard and the Men’s Rites of Passage and he said yes. That is probably what was the impetus for enrolling...that and my trust in whatever Richard is doing.

I have done a lot of personal growth type work in the past - some of it very confronting. This was not my experience on the Men’s Rites of Passage. Although lots of issues came up, I found the overall experience to be quite gentle. I had the privilege of doing it at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico and that place has enormous significance for me - both because of its exquisite beauty and because of what I experienced there. I went back there for a year end retreat with Richard two years ago and it was wonderful, although not the same as when I did the MROP.

I can't say that I did the MROP for any specific reason. I don't recall having any special issues that I was trying to deal with except to say that something about it spoke to my spirit.

Since I've completed the Rites, I have become increasingly aware of the need for this kind of men’s spirituality on a broader scale. We clearly face a crisis in masculine identity of vast proportions and this affects us personally and society as a whole. We can see the breakdown of the traditional family and at least some of this can be attributed to the absence of the father - either emotionally, or physically or both. Weak or absent fathers affect the psychological well being of the children of both sexes, inhibiting their ability to achieve their own gender identity and to relate in positive and intimate way with members of their own and the opposite sex.

As Richard Rohr has pointed out, many of us aging baby boomers at some level are the victims of this but we also have an opportunity, through this kind of work, to break the cycle and prepare our brothers and sons to live and experience a life of authentic manhood that may, hopefully, impact our global society.

Gerry Aylwards
Men’s Rites of Passage